LOGGINGOFF

kevin blisske · superuser on the ice since 1994

▚ SCHEDULED SHUTDOWN IN ▞

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uptime: — · load average: 0.05, 0.04, retiring

CON 1

CON 2

CON 3

CONDITION 3 — RETIREMENT IMMINENT. Visibility unlimited. Travel to the beach is unrestricted.

▮ CAREER LADDER · /var/log/promotions · 1994 → 2027

$ grep -c promoted /var/log/career.log
8

Eight titles. Thirty-three seasons. One rack, populated a unit at a time — from soldering irons to root on everything on the continent. And at the very top, the role the org chart made inevitable: manager of Application Systems Support. Team ASS. Which makes him…

THE ASSMAN

▮ REGISTRATION ON FILE · STATE OF NEW YORK DMV

A proctologist's vanity plate, issued to Kramer by DMV error (“The Fusilli Jerry,” 1995). Thirty years later the United States Antarctic Program put a man in charge of Application Systems Support, and the prophecy completed itself. He didn't choose the plate. The plate chose him.

▮ LIVE OPS FEED · tail -f /var/log/antarctica.log

syslog — usap-itc — all stations ● LIVE

tickets closed: — sev-1s open: 0 coffee: HOT morale: ASCENDING

▮ AREA OF OPERATIONS · 3 STATIONS · 2 VESSELS · 2 CAMPS · 33 SEASONS

INCIDENT LEDGER · SMALL BOATING · PALMER STATION

02NEAR-DEATH
EXPERIENCES

02SURVIVED

00OUTSTANDING

100%RETURN
RATE

Two incidents on file. Both closed in the operator's favor; the Southern Ocean's tickets were marked WONTFIX. Management notes the survival rate meets SLA and strongly recommends against a third data point.

SOLAR STATUS · AMUNDSEN–SCOTT SOUTH POLE STATION

POLE SUN: —

—

At 90° South the sun rises once a year. —

▮ 32 YEARS · SAME STATION · DIFFERENT HAT · ~/archive/palmer

blisske@ice: ~/archive/palmer — diff — 80×24 ARCHIVE

blisske@ice:~/archive/palmer$ diff --side-by-side kevin.1994 kevin.2025-26

Kevin Blisske at Palmer Station in 1994 — ball cap, wire-frame glasses and an oversized sweatshirt, chin propped on one hand at the station bar, a drink and a plate in front of him. — **PALMER STATION · 1994** Science Technician. Elbow on the bar. Has not yet met a Zodiac.

Kevin Blisske at Palmer Station in the 2025-26 season, front right in a Zodiac inflatable with six colleagues in orange float coats. He wears wraparound sunglasses and a beanie reading PALMER STATION ANTARCTICA. Behind them: the orange-hulled research vessel Laurence M. Gould, sea ice and a glacier. — **PALMER STATION · 2025-26** Team ASS Manager. Has met two. Got back in the boat anyway.

station:PALMER station:PALMER

title:SCIENCE TECHNICIAN title:TEAM ASS MANAGER

zodiac_incidents:0 zodiac_incidents:2 (survived)

hair:present hair:see beanie

coffee:5 cups/day coffee:5 cups/day

UNCHANGED · 32 YEARS · NO EXCEPTIONS

5 fields compared · 3 changed · 2 identical · 1 non-negotiable

Same station. Same coffee. Thirty-two years between exposures. The frame on the left is a Science Technician who has never been in a Zodiac. The frame on the right was taken from inside one — after two of them had already tried to keep him. Everything else in the diff is cosmetic. The coffee is load-bearing.

FINAL SEASON · PROGRESS TO LOGOUT—%

▮ REMAINING WORKLOAD · COMPUTED LIVE FROM TIME-TO-SHUTDOWN

CUPS OF COFFEE SINCE 1994 · 5/DAY · EVERY DAY · NO EXCEPTIONS

—

…and still counting. The French press retires January 1st too.

📡 TRANSMIT TO THE ICE

The satcom window is open. Send Kevin a message before the final logout.